Are You a Spiritual Fraud?
Fraudulence is defined as being obtained by deception and taking credit for accomplishments that you haven’t earned. It’s about having something that you don’t really deserve. Energetically, having something you don’t really deserve means that you don’t really have it at all, so you are a temporary throne holder, but not the real king. An empty fist.
This condition creates all sorts of energetic and spiritual fractures inside you. It creates an illusion and it can feel like you have something powerful, but the truth is, you can’t maintain the charade. Eventually, the façade cracks-- like sucking in your stomach when you’re trying to give the illusion of svelte. Eventually, you’re gonna have to breathe and your belly’s gonna release with fatigue. Also, Gollum from Lord of the Rings comes to mind. Remember how he held the powerful ring and it destroyed him? He was left with the reality that comes from being in illegitimate possession and out of integrity with the thing he desired. Oh, the consequences of fraudulence!
Personally, it has always been abhorrent for me to present myself in a fraudulent way in my work and in the business marketplace. However, it was totally natural for me to fake my interior emotional wellness to myself. For so many years I lived the illusion of happiness and good health. For most of my life, I hated myself but kept it hidden from the public. I would do things like run marathons, do yoga and meditate, not for the love of life, but in an attempt to mold myself into someone who loved themselves. Even the choice I made to travel was not just for the love of the lands I visited, but more because I was running from the devil of unworthiness.
My journey over the last seven years has been about waking up to my lies and putting an end to them. I had to look at all of my choices and inspect if they were authentic to the truth of how I felt in that moment. I had to dig deep and find my true core beliefs and then I had to understand them and how they were serving me. The beliefs were hard because while some of them were easy to change, there were a couple that I could not break through for years. They were super detrimental and they were the source of all my pain and suffering. Those, I had to work with slowly, peeling back the layers piece by piece. If you feel like reading more about my story with spiritual fraudulence, hop over to my primary website and read the article I wrote. It's a very revealing look at how spiritual fraudulence can hide in the crevices of our minds and create disconnection with our Authentic Self, our source of wisdom, and our Soul.
8 (Fixable) Ways to Know if You're a Spiritual Fraud
Below, you'll find a short, but powerful list of ways to know if you are spiritual fraud like I was. Do a fearless self-assessment and see what comes up for you.
1. You don’t listen to or fulfill your emotional needs.
2. You don’t practice self-compassion.
3. You elevate the needs of others above your own.
4. You act as if you are the bastard child of the Universe.
5. In your heart, you believe you are undeserving.
6. You rely upon cliches to build your spiritual philosophy and rarely challenge your own thinking.
7. You hide negative emotions behind a mask of positivity because you judge them harshly.
8. You’re willing to sacrifice your Soul to stay in the comfort zone of you own self-deceit.So if you recognize that you might be a spiritual fraud, what can you do about it? Well, I have a very simple approach that is the foundation for powerful transformation.
4 Steps to Stop Being a Spiritual Fraud
Awareness. The first thing you need to do is to become aware of all the ways that you sell yourself out to spiritual fraudulence. Observe yourself for a few days. Look at your behaviors and the choices you make. Notice the emotions that arise in you and pay attention to how you deal with painful emotions that may be present. Ask yourself to show you where you are subconsciously shutting down yourself. Becoming aware of your subconscious mind is the fastest way to get healed. The more you explore, the more you will learn and the more effective you can be with your healing strategies.
Why? Once you realize that you have some subconscious forces at work, you then need to address those hidden subconscious needs that are triggering your fraudulent responses. So when you become aware of these forces, ask THEM why they are triggering. For example, if you find yourself feeling undeserving, then pause and ask yourself why you feel this way. Now, be careful. Don't approach this with simple logic. Your subconscious mind is full of powerful dynamics and you will need to dive deep in order to know what is really going on and why you are so triggered. Dive deep and go searching for the root cause of your trigger. Ask yourself what is the earliest memory I have of feeling this way.
Emotional Needs. Once you start to understand why your subconscious mind is behaving the way it is, you can start to do something about it. Look at your whys and figure out what your emotional needs are. Write down what you discover and then validate those needs. Let your subconscious mind know that you are in solidarity with it. Let it know that you are not the enemy and that you want to work to heal the wounds and meet your needs. Go into this exercise with an open mind and open heart. Be compassionate with yourself.
Parent Yourself. Now that you've validated your true feelings, you now have to parent yourself and take care of your emotional needs. Emotional needs are just as real as your need for water, food, shelter and clothing. They are base and to ignore them creates a negative and untrustworthy interior landscape. You don't trust yourself because you don't take care of yourself, so you are untrustworthy in the eyes of yourself. Your next sep should be to devise a plan to meet your emotional needs with regularity. For example, simply checking in with yourself four or five times a day for just 20 seconds goes a long way to bridge the relationship between your conscious and subconscious mind. Set a timer to go off every three hours and when the bell rings, simply pause for one long, deep breath and ask yourself, "How do I feel?" Observe how you feel for just 10 to 20 seconds. Acknowledge what you find, thank yourself for sharing, and then go back to your day. Boom! You cared about yourself and yourself shared its truth.
Make New Choices. When you find yourself falling back into fraudulent behaviors or compartamentalizing your emotions, make a different choice. Instead of tamping down your anger, excuse yourself from the situation and take a short walk down the hallway and be present with your anger. Don't hit walls and don't scream at people. That's not being present, that's being destructive. Being present means that you feel the anger in your body, you feel the energy moving through you. You breathe with it without judgement and you listen to your inner voice as it guides you to the next step.
Alright, these last steps are a super simple approach to healing. You probably need more than what's here. That's why I created Jailbreak Your Heart & Howl at the Moon. This is a one year healing program that has you dive deeply into spiritual disconnection, Shadow and the sources of pain and unworthiness. We tear apart the darkness with the light of wisdom so that our true, Authentic Self can come through. There are exercises, meditations, workbooks and group meetings that you can join to help you break free from the prison of unworthiness and unleash your inner Badass Butterfly. You can join this program at any time.
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